Beating Women or Beating around the Bush

There's a big misconception among non-Muslims that Allah in Quran has ordained that women may be beaten if their male counter-part is not pleased with them.

Is Allah telling males to beat their wives to control conflict in martial affair???


Being a woman my opinion is that wife beating will only flare up the situation, rather than helping any thing


But then what about the verse in Quran posted below??


4:34 Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great.

The above posted verse seems bizarre, but to an extent I agree as this happens in Islamic world, for some advocate that this verse ordains women beating if male counter-part is not pleased with them.


We Muslims believe that Allah is a living symbol of fairness and equality, and Quran is the book of light which dispells darkness, so how is Quran here asking Muslim men to adopt barbaric ways and commit violence.

Lets implore the subject deeply

The word used here to what many translate as "beat" is Idribuhun, which is derived from the word Darb in Arabic and it has six meanings,so when presented with a situation where we have more than one meaning for the same word, we must observe a meaning which is best suited for the objective of the verse in question, which is martial harmony.

It is more suitable that we use the 2nd meaning of Darb, which is to "depart or separate" If reconciliation between the husband and the wife cannot be made by themselves,even after not speaking with each other or sleeping on same bed, then matter should be referred to the arbiters-one from the husband's family and one from the wife's family.



This meaning to 'Darb' is confirmed in the very next verse:

4:35 And if ye fear a breach between them twain (the man and wife), appoint an arbiter from his folk and an arbiter from her folk. If they desire amendment Allah will make them of one mind. Lo! Allah is ever Knower, Aware.

Another confirmation is found in....

4:128 If a woman feareth ill treatment from her husband, or desertion, it is no sin for them twain if they make terms of peace between themselves. Peace is better. But greed hath been made present in the minds (of men). If ye do good and keep from evil, lo! Allah is ever Informed of what ye do.


So Quran simply tells us about, that if problem arises between husband and wife, talk about it, obviously simplest and healthiest method since it opens the communication channel between both parties.


Doesn't works, then abstain from sharing the same bed, man is adviced to use if they are unable to reconcile their problem.

Finally if nothing works, then separate from each other.

This is designed as a last solution of retaining marriage, for even if you are willing to divorce, the period of 'cooling-off'(explained in another article) helps each party re-think and examine the situation closely.